Anonymous asked:

so if a boy i haven't talked to in awhile just randomly asked me to a movie and wouldn't talk after that is it a date or what because i'm confused

straightwhiteboyproblems answered:

We are mysterious creatures. Sometimes we do things with no meaning. For instance, one time my bro took a whole 2 liter bottle of coke and threw it across my driveway hoping it would explode. “Why did you do that?” we asked him, but we received no reply. Why do we take unbend paper clips and stick them into electrical sockets, shutting the school power down for hours? Why are we programmed to think that buying the newest fragrance of Ralph Lauren cologne will suddenly grant us better bods and a sexy bikini cladened girl on an isolated beach? We are compelled to do things that have little to no reason like watching 85 straight episodes of epic meal time. So while you tumblr blog lords eagerly expect an answer, I must disappoint you and tell you that I hold no answers to this very question. THIS, ironically, is a straight white boy problem because the higher powers above of both swag and class are controlling our every decision and we, unfortunately, are struggling to control ourselves for the greater good of the world. THANK YOU for reading My Dissertation on food Network stars i hope your movie was Great AND may God bless You Merry christmas